Sunday, October 30, 2011

Meth-heads with grappling hooks

So, I have this horrible fear of home invasion. It usually only comes out to play when I'm home alone, at night.

The other day, I had my dad over for dinner. I was telling him how Scott was going to be working nights, and how I had a total plan for when my home was inevitably invaded. (Lock my bedroom door and call police.. Its genius, right?) My dad looks around my apartment, and says, "you're on the second floor. Lock your front door and you'll be fine." BUT THEN, he adds "Unless someone had a grappling hook. They could totally use a grappling hook on your balcony and get in that way!"

Great. Grappling hooks. Hadn't considered them. So glad I get to now.

Last night I stayed up most of the night, although, not in some sort of hypervigilant way, more in a "hooray for interwebz!" way. When Scott got home, I explained how a nice side effect of staying awake all night was that I wasn't afraid.

Scott: Honey, there's really nothing to be afraid of! Do you know how hard those doors are to break through?

Me: But, what if someone came up over the balcony with a grappling hook? Sometimes we don't even *lock* that door!!

Scott: As if you wouldn't hear a grappling hook!

Me: What good is *hearing* the grappling hook going to do me?

Scott: A home invader is gonna be scared off if they think you know they're there.

Me: Not a meth head. A meth head would just stab me!

Scott: Look, if a meth head manages to plan to get a grappling hook, break in and find you, I think you have to give it to him. I mean, that's awesome planning for a meth head.

Me: Thanks sweetie. Thank you for cheering for the meth head.

Good luck, Meth heads. Scott really means that.

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